Swedish in Paris

Hello hello,
Just testing if the site still works since my trial period got expired..Since I'm just a poor hard working minimumpayed foreighner in Paris I wasn't sure about keeping this site up..I haven't been that busy writing anyway..So if I totally disappear (though it seems to be working anyway..?)and you still want to read my visdom (hm) I'll probably start up another blog somewhere. Have to go, see you!

At home

Right now I'm back in Sweden for some catching-up with my loved ones, celebrating Christmas and New Year's, and maybe most important, just rest from everything. Recuperating could be the word. I have (almost) three month in Paris behind me that's been everything but eventless. And since I'm the kind of person who likes to analyse the events in my life I have a lot of thinking to do these days.

It has without doubt been very intense, I've come across new amazing people, I've had two and a half jobs (4 hours at C&A can't possibly be equally counted with the rest) and above all, I 've been thrown into the french language like never before.

Now I know what it's really like not to be able to express yourself as you want and how incredibly frustrating it can be. I don't think I've ever been this challenged before as I've been these past three months. Directly speaking: I've never felt stupid as often as I have lately. Sounds tragic but being in an environment where you have to speak a language you hardly know, even if you choosed it yourself, isn't exactly charming each day.

For example, because of the language and the new culture, I've experienced to take on a new role in social situations. I can't be the same old me when I don't handle the language good enough, so I get to see what it feels like to be the quiet one, the one who observes and the one who has to make an effort for people to notice you're more than a foreigner. You get to see yourself in a totally different light, something that most definately confuses your self-image. But in the long run, I think it helps you to get to know yourself better. (As a human though, you're not always in the mood for that kind of self-fulfilling, you simply just want to be a part of the crowd) So, trying to find your spot in a new place isn't always that easy and you don't always have the energy. But at the same time, when you do, when you feel you come through, it's the best feeling.

It's not a revolutionary discovery that I'm presenting to you now but I think it's something worth to be repeated:

Challenging yourself, no matter in what way, definately gives more than it takes in the end. To start over, to walk into the unknown, it's refreshing and exiting. And you can only win. Even if it makes you exhausted..

So, right now I'm enjoying my time at home, the safest place on earth where litterally nothing happens. I'm collecting new force and hopefully it'll make me strong enough for the challenges ahead. Cause I'll be back, Paris is just on hold.

Happy New Year everyone!

Taxi through Paris

With my new job, that I still enjoy by the way (except from Saturday when I spilled Pina Colada on the precious shoes of my boss and on the same night stepping on a piece of glass that went through my shoe and left a nice bleeding mark..) comes an obligatory taxi ride two nights a week. There goes the tips, but so far it has without doubt been worth it.

Primarily because I can get home fast and safe, but also for the pleasure of having conversation with the taxi driver. Now I just don't long for my sleep when I leave the bar but I'm also looking forward to finding out what kind of person who'll be taking me home tonight (not in a slutty kind of way, of course). Every night's the same procedure, I get in and tell the person where we're going, I brake the ice with the famous phrase "busy night tonight?" and even though I say the same thing every time, every ride and every conversation has been unique.

There was the Algerian guy who I shared the same taste in R'n'b music and favourite view in Paris (Sacre coeur).

The sad Chinease guy who had to be a taxi driver since they had a cut down at his old job and who acctually managed to get lost so we had to look at he map together.

The long-haired man who answered enthousiastically to all of my questions about the taxi system in Paris.

The 22 year-old guy with a fresh certificate who really seemed to have found his call in life and who got me home with a record time of 2 euros cheaper than the rest.

And my favourite so far. The slightly mental one, who were really passionate about astronomy and who taught me about the Nordic phenomenon that takes place every 21 of June. And who clearly gave me his view about how to solve the problems of intolerance between people. He also had time to fill me in on his relationship with his father just before his death. I found out that he dreaded the Dutch language since that was the language his parents used to adress him with when they were angry. And we also had time to discuss how blind we all are to the grammar of our mother tongue.

I could go on forever, but I think you got the picture.

That short encounter with a stranger, that you'll probably never would have met otherwise, it leaves an impression, regardless if the person was sympathic or not. Every time that I've closed the door behind me I had the same thought; There are a lot of people to meet and if you just see and take the opportunities, you seldom get disappointed.

Just for the record, Paris is even more beautiful at night.

Change of plans

Yes I am alive, for those who have wondered. Barely though, becasue I have a cold and a voice that makes me sound like a 50-year-old whiskey addict, but I have my reasons for that.

Nowadays I am a barmaid. Naturally I work in smokey areas during uncomfortabale hours. Not the best healthwise but I must say that mentally it's good for me. Now I finally get the opportunity to really release my french since medium/very drunk people doesn't seem to care about grammar and that makes me more relaxed to speak. I'm also very privileged to learn a bit from the discussions I end up in over the bar. After less than a week in this profession I know more about rugby, the French education system and what's new in Swedish astronomy than ever before. If that isn't a blessing I don't know what is.

Maybe I should also mention what happened to Monoprix. Well, let's just say I didn't make the smartest career move in my life and I had to take the consequences from that. It's not a very interesting story so if I just say that communication difficulties and (knowing what I know now) a bit of luck brought me where I am today. Amazing how life sometimes just seem to do the planning for you.

So life is doing good. Although, at the same time that things are going just as I want them to, I've also experienced a rational awakening which isn't the happiest feeling ever. So in some ways I appreciate that I sometimes have to let life just lead me the way, but sometimes it's a frustrating feeling when you can't control the circumstances of things. If you know what I mean.

Now I feel I have to contribute to the brainstorming of what to have for dinner with my dear room mates. Hopefully I'll be making an appearence a bit sooner than the last time. I can't possibly be calling myself a blogger otherwise.

Bye for now!

Found a Swedish in Paris

Yesterday at work (yes, at Monoprix) when I was probably thinking about either what time it was or how terribly bad/surprisingly good my french was for the moment, I suddenly had the pleasure of bumping into another Swedish in Paris.

It was very unexpected, I didn't notice until I held her credit card and read her, no doubt, Swedish name. Anna. I thought I should share it with you because I found the following reaction kind of interesting. 

The first thing I did was saying, maybe a bit too loud, "Du ar ju svensk!" "You're Swedish!"
And from judging her face and her slightly weird accent transition from speaking French to Swedish, she did not see that coming.

And then we just went a bit euphoric there over the Monoprix counter. Talking like we met after haven't seen each other for years. Maybe this was an unusually nice person (I just felt like she could become my new best friend there and then) but I think there were other reasons for me getting so excited over this little encounter.

I guess that being able to speak my own language and talking to people with the same cultural background as myself mattered more than I first thought. Didn't think so since I know I have a bit of an obsession for foreign people and different languages. I always liked being around people from other countries and to speak other languages than my own (think I was the only one in my school who actually enjoyed the visit from Belarus) but from what I experienced from the meeting with my co-Swedish in Paris, I guess that in the end I also miss being able to express myself exactly as I want.

My french is improving though, by now I can say amounts like 89,95 without a retarded pause of a couple of seconds. My stressed Parisian clients must be delighted.

Godnatt!